...where the music is like water rushing through you ... your function is really like that of a hose


Ekoostik Hookah Wo0k Handbook

Oldfields, Columbus, OH.

A rare species these days, the Ohio Ekoostik Hookah Wo0k (Cedus Wo0kus Amongus)can be found bumming menthol cigarettes at gas stations in the Stubenville, Ohio geographic region.

Spring Hookaville 2007

Ohio Ekoostik Hookah Wo0k Colloquial:

"Fuckin' Sweeney, man" - this is NOT a sexual request or advance. The phrase is a native eastern Ohio Wo0k call emphasizing admiration for the bands guitarist, Steve Sweeney.

"Fuckin' Katz, man" also sounds like an erotic advance in reference to having sex with kittens, but it is just a reference to the bands piano player, Dave Katz.

"Ledges brah" - reference to the site of many epic Ekoostik Hookah shows at Nelson Ledges Quarry Park. Also used in conjunction with the phrase, "Allegedly" as a combined word, "A - Ledges - Ly - Brah" to cast doubt on the epicness of said Hookah show at the NLQP.

The Ekoostik Hookah Wo0k may become enraged if you laugh at his insistence that Steve Sweeney was 2nd in line for the Allman Brothers guitarist opening. Also, it is important to remember the strong ties between Hookah fans and the Grateful Dead. When some of you jumped on face melting Phish Tour in 1995 after Jerry's death, others laughed and went straight for Hookah Tour (classified as dive bars and fields in Illinois, West Virginia, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Kentucky and Indiana). "Phish Destroys America Tour" in 1997 pales in comparison to what Hookah was throwing down on a semi-monthly basis during their "Midwest Mojito's and Munchies" Tour.

The Ekoostik Hookah Wo0ks order of face melting rock guitarist allegiances is as follows: (1) Jerry Garcia, (2) Steve Sweeney, and (3)Gregg Allman.

Notable Wo0k hangouts include: Nelson Ledges Quarry Park, Hookahville, his Mom's house and Stubenville gas stations.

Ekoostik Hookah Wo0k's are commonly spotted by way of patchwork pants with little backward e's on them with mushroom prints on the side. If Wo0k identification is still uncertain, offer him or her a "purple dinosaur" and if they show interest in the proposal, Ekoostik Hookah Wo0k status is confirmed'd.

Get yourself some coffee brah!

me too...


  1. Funny stuff. I think u have nailed it, lol. Especially knowing this "wook" haha. I laughed so hard my eyes watered. The urban dictionary definition made this even funnier too.

    Side note: not all of us E.H. fans are wooks, having someone point out the diff. Between us is great tho. I loved this, lol.

  2. What is this?? Is this fa-real brah?!

  3. I feel bad that I had to use an actual dude, but it does bring the piece together, no? It's just a goof...

  4. The main dude u did use though is a wook. We had to kick out many wooks from festivals for doing shady shit to us non wooks.
    Good stuff.

  5. Good peice,and the dude you used is a wook. We have had to kick out many wooks from festivals for doing shady shit to the non wooks. Lol

  6. We always called em ghetto hippys. brah.

  7. bumming menthols at gas stations! haha. this actually happens, and has happened to me. HOOOOKAAAAHHHH!!!

  8. Utterly awesome.

  9. "Dave Sweeney"

  10. this is hilarious!! proud to be from ohio and a hookah fan. rage against the wooks!!! get your grubby hands outta my cooler when im at the stage watching the show!! good shit brah

  11. lol EZ you are to much man posted all over hear lol glad to see you are still kicking you damn wook

  12. AnonymousMay 17, 2011

    Just so ya know the cro and wd pic is not a wook, he is in fact, a grizz! Grizzly Adams as he is known in the ville. You can tell the difference between them... a mostly nocturnal creature with a glow bracelet jammed through his nose. He can be spotted in dense hookah crowds and playing the beer bottle and lighter in random drum circles. His eyes are black and he rarely wears a shirt, even in 30° weather. The differences are subtle but you can tell if you look close.

  13. Yeah Grizz is alright, known him since we was kids.. the other cat you have pics of on here is a rip off artist, thief and gives a bad name to all wooks. rot in hell "EZ"

  14. I think that Wook sold me some bunk ummmmmm enough said:)

  15. Outstanding information, i must say this site is really cool.
    V Smoke